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All tweets by @brightandglory (page 5 of 104)

@brightandglory   ·  15 Aug 2015
But I'm a creep, I'm a wigo #TrumpenASong
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@brightandglory   ·  16 Aug 2015
Yo mama is sexy #BlackPickupLines
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@brightandglory   ·  16 Aug 2015
does dat booty com with hot sause? #BlackPickupLines
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@brightandglory   ·  16 Aug 2015
I got chicken, bitch #BlackPickupLines
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@brightandglory   ·  16 Aug 2015
I'll give you all my coupons #BlackPickupLines
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@brightandglory   ·  30 Aug 2015
Drink all the whisky in the world #MyDoomsdayPlans
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@brightandglory   ·  30 Aug 2015
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#MyDoomsdayPlans 8am - Eat & Brush Teeth 9am - tweet & coffee 10am - Finally Push Big Red Button! 10:15 - Nap 2pm - Late lunch
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@brightandglory   ·  30 Aug 2015
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#MyDoomsdayPlans sit back and watch it all unfold... Can't do much it's the end of the world as we know it!
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@brightandglory   ·  6 Sep 2015
#DumbGenieWishes turn me into a super cat http://t.co/0qH8WBPilV
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@brightandglory   ·  6 Sep 2015
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I wish for one million fishes!!! .....Wait! No!!! Goddamn it. ������������������������������������������������.... #DumbGenieWishes
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@brightandglory   ·  14 Sep 2015
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#ReasonIAmNotPresident I also prefer to use my own server � @HillaryClinton http://t.co/DrJpV6QIyq
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@brightandglory   ·  14 Sep 2015
#ReasonIAmNotPresident My surname isn't Bush or Clinton
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@brightandglory   ·  14 Sep 2015
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I use curse words as punctuation. My Presidential speeches would be so bleeped they would be inaudible. #reasoniamnotpresident
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@brightandglory   ·  14 Sep 2015
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#ReasonIAmNotPresident I m not ready to meet aliens
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@brightandglory   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen I was born with penis
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@brightandglory   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen my blowup doll filed for divorce
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@brightandglory   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen only one of them got lung cancer http://t.co/xHtxI1fwWZ
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@brightandglory   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen our president forgot how to president http://t.co/xZINnWE8xB
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@brightandglory   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen they started suspecting I'm Muslim
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@brightandglory   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen I tasted metal in my pizza, now I have broken tooth
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@brightandglory   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen I lost my phone
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@brightandglory   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen the doctor told me I was gonna have a desease named after me
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@brightandglory   ·  4 Oct 2015
#MyPreWorkOutRoutine dancing in leggings
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@brightandglory   ·  4 Oct 2015
#MyPreWorkOutRoutine calling my parents
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@brightandglory   ·  7 Oct 2015
#SoThenISaid I'm not racist, but…
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@brightandglory   ·  7 Oct 2015
#SoThenISaid And a diet Coke please
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@brightandglory   ·  11 Oct 2015
#IGotNobelPrizeFor eating 236 cookies. Once I really did it!
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@brightandglory   ·  11 Oct 2015
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#IGotNobelPrizeFor my social media catfish firewall
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@brightandglory   ·  11 Oct 2015
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#IGotNobelPrizeFor my research into who would win in a fight between a junkie and a drunk.
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@brightandglory   ·  15 Dec 2015
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#WhoWouldYouLikeToFight I'll tell you if I win...
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