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The Dark Knight is Trying to Rise #FattenAMovie
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ps I love burgers #FattenAMovie
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That awkward pizza #FattenAMovie
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#MyMomsBiggestMistakeWas sending me to that summer camp @HashtagSkirmish @jkCallawayYAY @Sarah_Joyous http://t.co/O6APCODIN3
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#MyMomsBiggestMistakeWas nothing. She is perfect. HI MOM!!!! Happy Mothers Day!!!
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#MyMomsBiggestMistakeWas getting me a cat when I was 11. I've been collecting them ever since.
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#MyMomsBiggestMistakeWas teaching me about the birds and bees with birds and bees
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#MyMomsBiggestMistakeWas hiring a musician to babysit me @HashtagSkirmish @Sarah_Joyous http://t.co/zMaReojgYz
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#ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe how to turn "just 15 minutes of Twitter before I go to bed" into "Dear God! It's already 3 in the morning!"
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funny @PLZ_4_RT #ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe Think of this as Kissing 101 ... everything you need to know. http://t.co/qrUjv3ssqe
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How to catch any cat, tame or feral, and make them like you! #ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe http://t.co/jEfOwUNz6W
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#ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe Loneliness doesn't come from being alone,but from being unable to communicate the issues that are important!
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�: sad? take a nap �: angry? take a nap �: stressed out? take a nap �: feeling great? take a nap #ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe
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#ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe How to dispose of a body using only bleach, toilet tissue, scissors & the cover of your nephew's bar mitzvah
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How to burn bridges and piss on the smoldering ashes of those bridges. #ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe
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The 10 best angles to take your dick pics. #ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe
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#ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe How to jump to conclusions and not lose any weight
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Not to confuse Exlax with Chocolate. #ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe #BoyDidThatMakeAMess
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#ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe I have this cool trick where I say something and bring the conversation to a screeching halt.
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#ThingsThatYouCouldLearnFromMe how to engage your mouth before your brain. Story of my life.
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#LittleWhiteLiesITold 'I think you have a reasonable opinion and I respect it'
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I care more about your feelings than hamburgers #LittleWhiteLiesITold @secretbee2 @secretbee1 @Beehive_Game http://t.co/PB6Au2TZiT
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Oh, that's a nice tattoo. Cant even tell it was done in your friend's bathroom. #LittleWhiteLiesITold
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