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All tweets by @loragreeen
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
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Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
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Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
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Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
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I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.
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Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
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I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
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Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party
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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
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Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
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There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Man cannot live by bread alone
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Please have my last breath, I would die for you #badday
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oh, Shazbot, I just locked my keys in my car! #kind
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i'm the easy rolling kind #smart
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