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19 tweets using #ifmyhousecouldtalk

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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
#IfMyHouseCouldTalk he'd pick up more girls than I
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
#IfMyHouseCouldTalk he'd always talk about my terrible mess
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk it would say, "Pet the furry wall" https://t.co/faKGiCXdqi
Region Flag United States / English
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk it couldn't. Gag order
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk it would tell me to get out of the kitchen. https://t.co/ojxINCxUiI
Region Flag United States / English
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk it would say don't worry I won't tell your wife
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk Lose the fucking cow mailbox.
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk it would say " I need u to get out. We spend all day every day together. I need some space "
Region Flag United States / English
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk It be in therapy.
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
#IfMyHouseCouldTalk I wouldn't need my therapist anymore If you're reading it, Mr.Spencer, I'm just kidding
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk or it would belch and fart and say "that felt good"
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk it would tell you people just how boring I really am
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk I'd move. That's fucking scary.
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk I'd feel like I'm talking to a wall.
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
#IfMyHouseCouldTalk you did it wrong https://t.co/J7Z4uRw3GA
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
#IfMyHouseCouldTalk Who let the dogs out?
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk it would say "hey, I look like your moms vagina" every time it got extremely messy/torn up.
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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#IfMyHouseCouldTalk it would ask why there are always so many empty wine bottles when I live alone
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Aug 2016
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It would yell, "help me! It burns! He did this to me for the insurance! Someone call 911!" #IfMyHouseCouldTalk https://t.co/PiHWlEQ1yj
Region Flag United States / English
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