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1,381 tweets using #survivalguidetothanksgiving (page 3 of 47)
#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving get stoned beforehand
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Train for Black Friday (there can be only one!!!) #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving #blackfriday https://t.co/5dVJ6nONXj
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Wear a "Make America Great Again" hat with your suit. They will make you 'Lord of Turkeys'. Also eat stuffing.
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving use a mantra. Mine is "Once a year. Once a year. Once a year"
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Be the last to arrive and the first to leave #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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Turn on the oven before put inside the Turkey #SurvivalGuideToThanksGiving
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving avoid the police
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving have your gun ready for anyone who says "Make America Great Again" or "I'm With Her".
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Lots of exercise all year & zero carbs. Be the skinniest motherfucking turkey ever & you'll live another year
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving 1)show up 2)roll a fat joint 3)smoke said fat joint 4)eat 5)kiss everyone goodbye
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1. Don't fill up before dinner 2. Pretend to care when others show up 3. Use NFL as an excuse to not help out #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Crosses Garlic Stakes Silver Bullets Bible exorcism version
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving turn on that weed vaporizer gadget, I bet the conversation will b much mo interesting wit every1 high
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My #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving is pass out Armageddon scenario survival booklet during meal & school the family of their rolls in my plan.
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Give thanks that you only have to do this once a year. #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving remember that #BlackLivesMatter
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Say you married a Canadian in June, and you have already done Thanksgiving in October.
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Your excuse= I got to leave early to pay my bookie the Loins lost again...
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving make for food not only tasty, but also good-looking https://t.co/lDw2Z25XTp
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Don't let your siblings win the wishbone contest. You know their darkest dreams…
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If the conversation gets too colorful, smile, nod, and think about this: #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving https://t.co/m5hB7wnHbb
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