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All tweets by @amandavgreen (page 5 of 145)
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Cubs babe. Cubs.
United States
/ Tagalog (Filipino)
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Pretty sad when the most interesting thing to happen in your town was a ufo sighting
United States
/ English
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The main ingredient in sushi is apparently fish, which I gather is a sort of aquatic ham. This country is just pleading to be conquered.
United States
/ English
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Hitters get to use their bat to "negotiate" their way around the bases and basemen wear riot gear equipment #MakeBaseballExciting @midnight
United States
/ English
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#InKindergartenILearned to NEVER take a shit at school. Ever! Everyone just climbs up the adjoining cubicles to laugh at you. No escape
United States
/ English
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#InKindergartenILearned that loading up your teacher with apples was the key to good grades!
United States
/ English
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'@RelaxForReal @midnight Oh, fuck, this one hit a little close to home.'
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/ English
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They are like a dark cave of mysterious wonders. #AFunFactAboutVaginas
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/ English
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'@hdtorch @Will3K85 @SheJStaz @thecheekys @RelaxForReal @Juicedog23 @mseric @EvilNorton @DamianVanore23 @ANGRYref fave fighters of injustice'
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/ English
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#InKindergartenILearned sometimes parents forget to pick up their kids after school �
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/ English
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#InKindergartenILearned that i wasn't going to be good at any kind of sport what so ever
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/ English
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#InKindergartenILearned my ABC's, 1,2,3's and about the birds and the bees thanks to my next door neighbors who never closed the curtains.
United States
/ English
United States
/ Uzbek
#IGotNobelPrizeFor my long and non-violent struggle for fundamental human rights in front of my cat
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/ English
#IGotNobelPrizeFor my indifference. I care least
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/ English
#IGotNobelPrizeFor studies of the structure and function of all mom's gadgets and electronics
United States
/ English
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.@Traceyny that was a perfect game. It started when my plane took off and ended when it landed and was entertaining along the way
United States
/ English
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In Oprah's ear when she's napping by the pool. (She gets mad.) #BadPlacesToPutAPenis
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/ English
My mom #WasCursedWith such a great child as me
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/ English
I #WasCursedWith Ronald McDonald
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/ English
I remember I #WasCursedWith an unprintable oath once. I replied with an unpictureable gesture!
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/ English
Walmart #WasCursedWith its people
United States
/ English