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All tweets by @chrixmorgan (page 478 of 491)

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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Mar 2017
#WhenIAmOnMyOwnI call the police so they could check under my bed
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Mar 2017
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#WhenIAmOnMyOwnI wonder if I fart and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? �
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Mar 2017
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#WhenIAmOnMyOwnI walk around naked after a shower, realize the blinds are open and dart back into hall 2 giggle with my imaginary friend�
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Mar 2017
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#WhenIAmOnMyOwnI check the batteries on my #Fleshlight. It's one ugly son of a bitch. #Predator https://t.co/iYqudt1w9Y
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@chrixmorgan   ·  19 Mar 2017
#BasketballIn4Words hot dogs and beer https://t.co/PfXec7A2U5
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@chrixmorgan   ·  22 Mar 2017
#StopMakingExcusesFor your alcoholism and enjoy it
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@chrixmorgan   ·  24 Mar 2017
story of my life https://t.co/Iw02PvdGCA
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@chrixmorgan   ·  24 Mar 2017
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Greater appreciation for college hoops... #MarchMadnessSymptoms https://t.co/ur03ZTPwkE
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@chrixmorgan   ·  24 Mar 2017
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#MarchMadnessSymptoms⚡️ “If you have these symptoms you may be suffering from March Madness” by @HashtagRoundup https://t.co/SMdGrktPr7
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@chrixmorgan   ·  24 Mar 2017
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You feel very happy, satisfied, and like everything is going to be o,k, Is it #MarchMadnessSymptoms or did you rent your tux @TopHatFormal? https://t.co/G8z3UyD32L
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@chrixmorgan   ·  2 Apr 2017
#SmokeABandOrSong We could be stoned up, get high, for the whole year https://t.co/Uk77BK9XE7
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@chrixmorgan   ·  2 Apr 2017
#OddReasonsToCelebrate a whole week without holes in my socks ? https://t.co/lekqevJsLK
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@chrixmorgan   ·  2 Apr 2017
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#OddReasonsToCelebrate The kid that beat me up in elementary school 35 years ago bagged my groceries and loaded my car, I tipped him $20
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@chrixmorgan   ·  2 Apr 2017
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When Our Dishonest President turns craziness into a competition. #OddReasonsToCelebrate https://t.co/QLgsHBqVtl
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@chrixmorgan   ·  2 Apr 2017
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#OddReasonsToCelebrate Because you're saying there's a chance. Yes!! https://t.co/C3TP9IryZJ
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@chrixmorgan   ·  2 Apr 2017
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#OddReasonsToCelebrate your annoying Co worker been out sick https://t.co/VDQUwELZn6
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@chrixmorgan   ·  2 Apr 2017
#OddReasonsToCelebrate you've remebered the name of the girl you woke up with https://t.co/VLIe5a0Q5j
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@chrixmorgan   ·  5 Apr 2017
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#IllGoOutWithYouIf You like a challenge....drag me off the couch first...
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@chrixmorgan   ·  5 Apr 2017
#IllGoOutWithYouIf you buy me a drink
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@chrixmorgan   ·  5 Apr 2017
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#IllGoOutWithYouIf you buy me a nice car ?
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@chrixmorgan   ·  5 Apr 2017
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#IllGoOutWithYouIf you will be gentle with my heart & promise not to make fun of how sentimental I am. https://t.co/Q1mra29mLS
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@chrixmorgan   ·  6 Apr 2017
#ThingsIWontApologizeFor being an asshole Yeah! Get it!
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@chrixmorgan   ·  6 Apr 2017
#MyFirstWordsHadToBe a beer, please And a shot of vodka
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@chrixmorgan   ·  7 Apr 2017
#ManCaveMusts a to-do list for the weekend https://t.co/OGMem3ZYqm
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@chrixmorgan   ·  7 Apr 2017
#ManCaveMusts a shooting range https://t.co/gKsFR6vzdq
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@chrixmorgan   ·  7 Apr 2017
#QuietDownAFilm Shut Up! https://t.co/itnBxexGRW
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@chrixmorgan   ·  9 Apr 2017
#MyFinePrintSays always hungry, handle with care
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@chrixmorgan   ·  10 Apr 2017
#DoesntGoOnASandwich white guilt
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@chrixmorgan   ·  10 Apr 2017
#SometimesILieAwake and break up with my ex again and again in my head
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@chrixmorgan   ·  10 Apr 2017
Once I tried alcohol #AndNowItWontStop
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