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@dan_j_shaffer   ·  29 May 2017
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The Russian secret communications system Jared wanted should just be an app called Traitr.
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@dan_j_shaffer   ·  29 May 2017
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They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
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@dan_j_shaffer   ·  29 May 2017
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He comes from a reality show background, but does Trump realize a cabinet member isn't supposed to be eliminated each week?
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@dan_j_shaffer   ·  29 May 2017
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2016 was channeling The Little Mermaid and ended the year by stealing Mariah Carey's voice.
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@dan_j_shaffer   ·  29 May 2017
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Trump is very relieved to be back in America, where he understands what the protestors are saying.
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@dan_j_shaffer   ·  1 Jun 2017
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@dan_j_shaffer   ·  1 Jun 2017
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Devastating: Watch This Guy Realize That When He Overhears People At Work Talking About ‘The Hamburger Dipshit’ They’re Referring To Him https://t.co/y3XtinKoF3
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@dan_j_shaffer   ·  1 Jun 2017
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Every year a businessman called Chris Rea gives money to the Tories and every year papers write it up as the Driving Home For Christmas guy. https://t.co/4hcfGpkKW7
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@dan_j_shaffer   ·  1 Jun 2017
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UKIP source: “It’s as believable as Dan Brown. I’m thinking of having the UKIP manifesto translated into cyrillic." https://t.co/05oS602kOG
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