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#NotSureYouRealizeThat you're to dumb to live
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#IGotNobelPrizeFor discoveries concerning the chloroform influence on female body http://t.co/lRxalGSVoE
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#IGotNobelPrizeFor the development of speedy twitter timeline browsing
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#IGotNobelPrizeFor the discovery and development of the green fluorescent protein in last week's bread
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My fantasy football team is so bad, I tied my opponent this week. His name is BYE.
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In a dead pig's head....if you aspire to becoming British Prime Minister one day #BadPlacesToPutAPenis
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Ben Carson says it's not hyperbole to say gun control could lead to a "holocaust" in USA. What does he call 30K gun deaths/year we have now?
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'@ShutUpAmanda my penis just hired a lawyer to sue you for emotional damages after posting that'
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BREAKING: US Dentist Walter Palmer accused of killing Detroit Lions. @absrdNEWS
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don't be so dirty
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NO WAY! https://t.co/Y6zmDX4Zju
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'@RyPad1 it looks like wonderful weekend! TY!'
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that's whiskey in the jar HOHOHO
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#NoShaveNovember So excuse my roughness �� but GoodMorning & Happy Thanksgiving ❤️ https://t.co/rCtUlZ4b1n
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In preparation for #BlackFriday, I'm replacing my fingers with knives.
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'@johnrobb_1968 @VeryCarefulGirl @1carolinagirl @Figster017 @superstar_beat happy thanksgiving John'
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#IllDenyItBut I hate when @theclobra gets into jail before me. There's no soap left
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