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All tweets by @dickyirwin (page 6 of 109)
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Remembering to make sure I have milk for coffee in the morning, apparently. I need to do a walk of shame, kinda.. � #ThingsIPrettyMuchSuckAt
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Try to explain #ScareMeIn3Words
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'@RelaxForReal @midnight Hey now, that's just being economical and eco friendly.'
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#InKindergartenILearned I could make other people laugh, and I've been at it ever since.
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Um, Mexicans use that & butter containers, too, as Tupperware. � https://t.co/nCp5RyTJrr
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If you really piss them off, they will squeeze your junk off. #AFunFactAboutVaginas
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#carlbonertag #AFunFactAboutVaginas You CAN feed them after midnight, but only if it's gluten free. http://t.co/in5Lwz0jIm
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#InKindergartenILearned that loading up your teacher with apples was the key to good grades!
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'@ShutUpAmanda my penis just hired a lawyer to sue you for emotional damages after posting that'
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In the sticky-ass syrup bottles. #BadPlacesToPutAPenis #WhyIAmBannedFromWaffleHouse
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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day I was dead so I didn't have any further concerns about what you were doing tbh.
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Up next at 12A PST \| 3A EST \| 8A GMT @hashtagprophet hosted by @YahBoiSelfie
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I pair nicely with alcohol and bad intentions.
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GF: Babe, tell me the truth. Does my butt look fat in these pants? Me: I choose dare...
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