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1,381 tweets using #survivalguidetothanksgiving (page 10 of 47)
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Don't be the person at the table closest to the kitchen. You may be the one obligated to get things from there. #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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Tequila & Margaritaville Tahiti triple blender it's gonna be 5 o'clock all day long! #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving https://t.co/wnZlGZrI4A
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Avoid subways, train stations or airports.
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Turn on the oven before put inside the Turkey #SurvivalGuideToThanksGiving
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Calling for pre-meal prayer is an effective distraction for you to fill your pockets and slip out unnoticed. #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving 1)show up 2)roll a fat joint 3)smoke said fat joint 4)eat 5)kiss everyone goodbye
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My #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving is pass out Armageddon scenario survival booklet during meal & school the family of their rolls in my plan.
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Hit the toughest guy in the room with a metal chair. You'll show your dominance and no one will give you shit #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving turn the dinner into an eating contest. At least it will stop the family from spewing obscenities at each other
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Come live in Scotland where we don't have it☺
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If the conversation gets too colorful, smile, nod, and think about this: #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving https://t.co/m5hB7wnHbb
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving turn on that weed vaporizer gadget, I bet the conversation will b much mo interesting wit every1 high
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Bring your phone charger, or be forced to interact with awkward family members who's names you don't remember #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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Avoid political discussion at ALL costs. (Nuclear option: change the subject by discussing the Kardashians) #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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