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All tweets by @ashleysimpsn (page 2 of 3)
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#ToBeHonestIJust Can't afford the insurance if I have to babysit for you anymore https://t.co/TSaRpd1vtC
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"You're carrying a puppy and a bouquet of roses, how'd you ring my doorbell?" Show you that part, later.
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Meds kicked in, back to Lala Land!
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#ShhhDontTellBut quantum computers will probably be able to see the future
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If up to you, you'll wear a t-shirt and shorts to someone's wedding or anniversary dinner #SignsYouAreAmerican with gold sneakers
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You can't name the three branches of your government #SignsYouAreAmerican
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You think Sriracha is a brand name and you put it on everything #SignsYouAreAmerican https://t.co/cLCtdHe1S4
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#SignsYouAreAmerican You'll text while driving but pull over to Snapchat yourself wearing dog ears
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You think you need an app to play hashtag games on Twitter (which also happens to be an app). #SignsYouAreAmerican
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#SignsYouAreAmerican You're proud of REAL bacon & not ham being used as a pizza topping https://t.co/AlZEbAIl12
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'@GiselleEvns #SignsYouAreAmerican: when people ask, you choose any other nationality that may apply. "Yeah, I'm seven fifty-fourths Irish."'
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#SignsYouAreAmerican Donuts, bagel, pizza. There’s something about circular bread that you love.
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