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My mom can feed a whole troop of soldiers #ReasonMyMomIsBetter
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#ReasonMyMomIsBetter She hardly drinks, therefore she's my personal taxi bitch.
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My mom bought me x-box on my last birthday #ReasonMyMomIsBetter
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She never interferes me playing computer games #ReasonMyMomIsBetter
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#WarningLabelsForPeople Will post sad music lyrics on Facebook to describe my feelings.
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#WarningLabelsForPeople Stay away from @GStephanopoulos and #BrianWilliams when looking for objectivity & truth. http://t.co/mKYfC9g0gb
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#WarningLabelsForPeople Caution: may contain trace amounts of irrationality, entitlement, arrogance, ignorance, Red Dye #40, and gluten.
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#WarningLabelsForPeople If there is a dog at your house when you invite me over, that's where I'll be.
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#WarningLabelsForPeople Gets secretly annoyed because you use your when you meant you're.
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Will Yell If Coffee Accidentally Knocked Over. #WarningLabelsForPeople
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#WarningLabelsForPeople May cause blood flow to erogenous areas. Enjoy.
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This woman may have sharp edges and could inflict pain #WarningLabelsForPeople
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Okay dearies, your mission for this morning's Mayhem is... #MakeTechEdible You know, like Chicken Google Soup. Make it tasty. Eat it up!
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