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All tweets by @toneporter (page 5 of 61)

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@toneporter   ·  25 Jun 2015
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#ThisIsWorseThanWhen my neighbour caught his beard in the food mixer ��
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jun 2015
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#ThisIsWorseThanWhen I was tricked into attending the Adam Sandler movie marathon
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jun 2015
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#ThisIsWorseThanWhen my dog brought me a dead squirrel and I grabbed it thinking it was a large stick to throw
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jun 2015
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#ThisIsWorseThanWhen I queefed doing the sit-up test in gym class.
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@toneporter   ·  27 Jun 2015
using hashtag symbol in my tweets #ThingsITryToForgetButCant
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@toneporter   ·  27 Jun 2015
#ThingsITryToForgetButCant Kim Kardashian
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@toneporter   ·  27 Jun 2015
Years I lied to my ex #ThingsITryToForgetButCant
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@toneporter   ·  4 Jul 2015
#UnitedStatesIn3Words Easy, breezy, beautiful
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@toneporter   ·  4 Jul 2015
#UnitedStatesIn3Words 319 million souls
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@toneporter   ·  11 Jul 2015
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Buy private server #WasteAMillionIn3Words http://t.co/J364lZ2W8u
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@toneporter   ·  17 Jul 2015
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In honor of #WorldEmojiDay, we present 5 things that happened this week — told by emojis! http://t.co/3C4XcRUv3X http://t.co/uFy1X7w5hj
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@toneporter   ·  17 Jul 2015
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Happy #WorldEmojiDay � #DoctorWho ⏳�����⏳⏳�⏳⏳⏳�⏳ ⏳�⏳⏳⏳⏳�⏳�⏳⏳⏳�⏳ ⏳�⏳⏳⏳⏳�⏳�⏳⏳⏳�⏳ ⏳�⏳⏳⏳⏳�⏳�⏳⏳⏳�⏳ ⏳�⏳⏳⏳⏳�⏳�⏳�⏳�⏳ ⏳�⏳⏳⏳��⏳�����⏳ ⏳�����⏳⏳��⏳��⏳
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@toneporter   ·  17 Jul 2015
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Happy #WorldEmojiDay! Here are the 100 most-used emojis: http://t.co/m5CE3UTXRx ❤️���☺️�
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@toneporter   ·  17 Jul 2015
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Happy #WorldEmojiDay. My favorite ones: ���
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@toneporter   ·  23 Jul 2015
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Death to America #3WordWorstCaseScenario http://t.co/tmlMFrk6Fe
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jul 2015
Cause why vote for someone with better hair than you? #TrumpCampaignSlogans
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jul 2015
Choose the one who’s familiar with the bankruptcy #TrumpCampaignSlogans
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@toneporter   ·  5 Aug 2015
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Captain Apprentice #MarvelAMovieOrTVShow http://t.co/wEDvtnFDaC
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@toneporter   ·  16 Aug 2015
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I would be shot by cop only for your smile #BlackPickupLines
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@toneporter   ·  16 Aug 2015
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#BlackPickupLines I’ve heard you’ve been naughty this year, I will punish you
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@toneporter   ·  16 Aug 2015
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#BlackPickupLines We are in danger of extinction; won’t you assist me in preserving endangered species?
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@toneporter   ·  16 Aug 2015
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Do you miss your daddy? I can be instead of him #BlackPickupLines
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@toneporter   ·  14 Sep 2015
My mom told me, if I become one, I'll ruin the country #ReasonIAmNotPresident
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@toneporter   ·  14 Sep 2015
I'm not terrorist #ReasonIAmNotPresident
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@toneporter   ·  14 Sep 2015
#ReasonIAmNotPresident Because I am not familiar with e mail just like Hillary, that sucks
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@toneporter   ·  14 Sep 2015
#ReasonIAmNotPresident Oh, I just got a bit late, I'll be the one in 202 for sure
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@toneporter   ·  14 Sep 2015
There would be too many national holidays #ReasonIAmNotPresident
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@toneporter   ·  18 Sep 2015
Friday is the worst day ever #OppositeDay
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@toneporter   ·  18 Sep 2015
There is no racism in USA #OppositeDay
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen I sent my friends my wedding pics http://t.co/NAaDYWxFio
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