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All tweets by @toneporter (page 6 of 61)

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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen Zayn Malik left #onedirection
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen I decided to bring a homemade clock to school http://t.co/I3YJqx6ncu
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen My Freaking umbrella broke! http://t.co/qVi6KYLzJS
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen I realized she would just keep getting fatter and fatter.
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen I asked my mother in law what the cauldron is for
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen I came home drunk and put the pizza upside down on the grill
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen I saw you naked
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen I became addicted to heroine….just kidding
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen my toaster tried to kill me
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
#AllWentWrongWhen I shitted myself on an interview
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen I Lost My Wifi. http://t.co/wXmgmwTAGB
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen I lost my Job
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen I got Amnesia
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@toneporter   ·  20 Sep 2015
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#AllWentWrongWhen they told me they were no longer serving breakfast at 10:31am http://t.co/3QeeuagFjm
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@toneporter   ·  26 Sep 2015
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The one where Rachel believes they were on a break! #ModernFriendsEpisodes http://t.co/ShnBnKqVov
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@toneporter   ·  26 Sep 2015
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The one where rules aren't fun for Monica #ModernFriendsEpisodes http://t.co/BBQdHYHxkS
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@toneporter   ·  4 Oct 2015
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Drink something chilling, like grape juice #MyPreWorkOutRoutine
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@toneporter   ·  4 Oct 2015
Having sex #MyPreWorkOutRoutine
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@toneporter   ·  4 Oct 2015
#MyPreWorkOutRoutine I first have to eat something like a burger to justify the work out
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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I'm really gonna miss you #5WordsForAFriend
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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Perfect combination, pervy and sweet. @nta71 #5WordsForAFriend
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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I asked 100 women "What shampoo do you use whilst showering?" 98% of them asked me to get out of the shower.
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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I hate it when people try to "one-up" you on bad situations.I'm just trying to vent,this is not a competition on who's life is worse.
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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But Your Honor, I only cut him after he ruined dessert by slicing the banana up instead of splitting it. I had to show him the difference.
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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#5WordsForAFriend Thanks for these fun games @keshatedder @theclobra
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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Do you like the voodoo doll I made of you? It has your eyes. Actually your eyebrow hairs. Funny how you never woke up as I plucked them.
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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You won't hear a peep out of me. *Vigorously snaps fingers during your favorite song*
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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Watching your battleship disappear in my deep waters...
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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Oh fun. Another ridiculous trend. **takes the name Felicia off baby girl name list**
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@toneporter   ·  25 Jan 2016
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#SJCM @doctorwho_dat https://t.co/Fmh5nPTu4I
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