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1,025 tweets using #IfIWereTedCruz (page 27 of 35)

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@andyhashtagger   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would hire someone to help me look less like a child molester.
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would deny any DNA tests. #ZodiacTed https://t.co/ASmyljV3Gp
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@andyhashtagger   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would look into raising alpacas
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I wouldn't hit the only one still supporting me https://t.co/hC0y7e2KOc
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@andyhashtagger   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz ill play hashtagging, maybe ill stand a chance here for all my bullshit ���
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
#IfIWereTedCruz I would become a psyhologist and would help troubled families to find common ground https://t.co/PzbmDXE1C0
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd make a @nBattlenet account.
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIwereTedCruz I would run for president because I'm a fucking awesome brawler for justice and America needs me.
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@loragreeen   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd force transgenders to change it back! https://t.co/WcMqcxRJkL
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz id try to sell my fake testicles for $70k
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@loragreeen   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would cut off my ears and become a flightless bird
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd pay people to follow me
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@loragreeen   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd ask God why he told him to run for President if he was going make him lose
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@andyhashtagger   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd pay people to follow me
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@loragreeen   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I wouldn't change my name to Ted Cruise.
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would blame my lousy act on my mentally challenged drama teacher from kindergarten
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@andyhashtagger   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would blame my lousy act on my mentally challenged drama teacher from kindergarten
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@loragreeen   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would get on the #TrumpTrain 2 defend this Country from #CrookedHillary. Save #SCOTUS by #NeverClinton! It's #AmericaFirst
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
#IfIWereTedCruz I'll pet blob fish https://t.co/L4WP0QP9tC
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@loragreeen   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd of just stuck with being a serial killer and left the political environment long ago.
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz my beat tags would say "I'm Ted Cruz". #music #producer
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@andyhashtagger   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz yesterday was my first step to becoming a full fledged alcoholic
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd go play a relaxing game of 'ringball' #nbaplayoffs2016
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd start whispering. Because maybe, just maybe, I might get away with it.
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@andyhashtagger   ·  4 May 2016
#IfIWereTedCruz I would have a female lookalike. We could make an indian movie about lost relatives and become rich https://t.co/8bkBT2Nxl8
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
I was a very difficult child #IfIWereTedCruz https://t.co/bJrG0yCaao
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz, I'd be grateful at least that no one had discovered that my real name was Acneous Shitbiscuit.
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@loragreeen   ·  4 May 2016
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Move back to Canada. #IfIWereTedCruz
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@danageezus   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz it wouldn't be so funny https://t.co/JA8aWqmJra
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@loragreeen   ·  4 May 2016
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd become a wedding singer https://t.co/Cg6Gtoiae9
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