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1,025 tweets using #ifiweretedcruz (page 29 of 35)
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would say to myself 'hi Ted,who am I? I fell asleep in England and woke up the subject of this game.'
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd get real and straight up admit politics is entertainment and I'm just a clown.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd release a sex tape called "The Cruz Missile" and then try to marry a talented hip-hop artist.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would become a psyhologist and would help troubled families to find common ground https://t.co/PzbmDXE1C0
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd be so stoic, everyone would want to pat me on the head.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd run a campaign every presidential race so I can get one jab and elbow in on my wife https://t.co/w4rW7yRRID
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#IfIWereTedCruz; a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich and a nice Salsbury Steak, would be on my dining agenda this month.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd run again in 2020, but change my last to Cruise.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd be really careful that I didn't drop anything. Just in case.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I wouldn't do any newspaper word puzzles in public, so as not to draw attention to myself
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#IfIWereTedCruz right now, my wife would be explaining to me what she meant by fisting. Fisting. You're doing it wrong.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I wouldn't do any newspaper word puzzles in public, so as not to draw attention to myself
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#ifiweretedcruz I'd blame #trump's triumph on #kenlivingstone being an #antisemite cos #JeremyCorbyn's #leftwing but then again I'm deluded!
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#IfIWereTedCruz I say May The Force Be With You, It was not with me.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd take some of my newfound free time and search for my real dad. https://t.co/2mhJQ88oX2
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#IfIWereTedCruz; a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich and a nice Salsbury Steak, would be on my dining agenda this month.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would finally agree to be in a remake of the Munsters starring as grandpa
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#ifiweretedcruz I'd tell my Dad to stop telling women he keeps cash in his underwear cuz"Donald keeps texting that's his move!&he'll sue"
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would become a killer when my presidential campaign failed
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would do some zodiac killing of my ego (hoping the donald might take my lead)
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