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1,025 tweets using #ifiweretedcruz (page 30 of 35)
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would finally agree to be in a remake of the Munsters starring as grandpa
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd take some of my newfound free time and search for my real dad. https://t.co/2mhJQ88oX2
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would go back to working on shutting down the govt. so there is nothing for @realDonaldTrump to be Prez of. Checkmate!
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd head back to the Senate fully dedicated to being Mitch McConnel's worst nightmare
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#IfIWereTedCruz i'd be happy I stood by my conservative values and didn't change for anyone or anything. #tcot
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#IfIWereTedCruz I Would Claim Relationship to Penelope Cruz to Help With My Election Chances every lil bit helps
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would be a sheep for people but a tyrant for my family
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#IfIWereTedCruz I Would Claim Relationship to Penelope Cruz to Help With My Election Chances every lil bit helps
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#IfIWereTedCruz I wouldn't have named a VP and dropped out less than two weeks later.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would admit that not everything I say is true...but look at my sad eyes https://t.co/xp223N3jLc
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd say, "Ma'am, give me your baby to kiss? I promise I'm not a maniac. It's just PR."
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would think same-sex couples somehow threaten our liberty �
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd peel off my human suit and return to the mother ship.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would cut off my ears and become a flightless bird
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would realize how horrible I must be if a orange narcissistic sociopath that suggested America use Hitler's ideas beat me
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd just go ahead and finish that bottle of tylonol.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would try and figure out why woman don't want me to tell them what to do with their bodies
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#IfIWereTedCruz I pretend to have been running for #POTUS as a "political statement" https://t.co/rvzrxixxmE
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#IfIWereTedCruz I would hook up with @dennisrodman and go visit #NorthKorea . https://t.co/cqgyZ0hXzp
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd head back to the Senate fully dedicated to being Mitch McConnel's worst nightmare
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd hunt down that "Too slow, Joe" kid & poop in his mailbox.
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#IfIWereTedCruz I'd be like, "Yo, god. What's up with this shit? I thought we were tight. You straight clowned me, dog,"
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