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356 tweets using #whenimsotallytober (page 12 of 12)
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#WhenImSotallyTober I eat all of the stale crust from last week's pizza box that I still haven't thrown away
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#WhenImSotallyTober At a family function, it makes my Aunt Phyllis seem funny when she shows her dentures to everyone
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#WhenImSotallyTober I yell at the @Jeopardy contestants if they answer the questions incorrectly
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#WhenImSotallyTober I get called on to be the designated driver to get all the drunks home safely
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#WhenImSotallyTober When I think the phone is ringing, I pick up the cat and talk into his stomach
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#WhenImSotallyTober I obey the speed limit and stay on my side of the road
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When I'm sober, I eat carrots to help my eyesight, but #WhenImSotallyTober I drink whiskey to double my vision, and improve my vodkabulary.
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#WhenImSotallyTober I always consider a nap but I don't want to waste the high
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#WhenImSotallyTober And want to watch the news, all that seems to be on TV is the Snuggie infomercial
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#WhenImSotallyTober It's time to open all the mail from the last 6 months and find out why the electricity was turned off
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#WhenImSotallyTober I make fun designs from the seeds that I pick out of my weed bag
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#WhenImSotallyTober I eat all of the stale crust from last week's pizza box that I still haven't thrown away
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#WhenImSotallyTober I don't only tweet and drive, I use Facebook at the same time.
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#WhenImSotallyTober I get called on to be the designated driver to get all the drunks home safely
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#WhenImSotallyTober I totally don't get what this tag is about so I'll go with my answer to all life's questions, nachos and boobies.
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#WhenImSotallyTober I completely remember the night before. Sometime I wish I didn't
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#WhenImSotallyTober I spark up a bowl because weed only causes memory loss, or even worse, memory loss.
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#WhenImSotallyTober I always consider a nap but I don't want to waste the high
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#WhenImSotallyTober I don't only tweet and drive, I use Facebook at the same time.
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