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All tweets by @danageezus (page 16 of 429)
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I found some old comic books in ur room so I threw them out. The plastic cases are a perfect fit for my lifestyle mags #FutureTextsFromMom
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#FutureTextsFromMom I gave your room to our dog, sooo...you don`t have to come for the holidays http://t.co/U4bb6ZeIx4
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'@Shane_Rodenbeck oh,mommy �'
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#FutureTextsFromMom If you are so clever, why aren`t you our president yet?
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#FutureTextsFromMom Did you know that you can print wine with this marvelous 3D printer?
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#FutureTextsFromMom Hello, Twitter! that`s my first tweet! �
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'@Ckandrew14 worst nightmare �'
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#MyDickIsLikeAClown hashtag is the best so far
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#MyDickIsLikeAClown because it is adroit enough to make a balloon dog but absolutely useless to do anything else @midnight
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#YouKnowILikeYouWhen I spill you fine wine I keep for myself, instead of that cheap one I secretly keep for the guests
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#YouKnowILikeYouWhen I let you win me in Monopoly
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#YouKnowILikeYouWhen the sweetest hashtag. Lots of love to you all, you make me sentimental
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#YouKnowILikeYouWhen I tolerate your singing
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#YouKnowILikeYouWhen I let you hug me while sleeping
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#YouKnowILikeYouWhen I finish the phrase you've started
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#YouKnowILikeYouWhen I eat what you've cooked
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#YouKnowILikeYouWhen my dog likes you
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#WhenIRuleTheWorldI will finally find out who let the dogs out
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hide your Hangover #AddMomRuinAMovie @midnight
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"You're my American Beauty, hun, you don't need a rhinoplasty" #AddMomRuinAMovie @midnight
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Mean Moms #AddMomRuinAMovie @midnight
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"Mom, I'm infertile, you'll never have grandchildren" note #RejectedMothersDayGifts
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#EveryoneThinksImWeirdBecause I make rap when it's raining
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#EveryoneThinksImWeirdBecause only my dog doesn't think so. At least I don't know that
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� best idea for the speed date ever! https://t.co/plZwv5gs1J
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