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All tweets by @melvinsroberts (page 16 of 155)
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Remember: if you don't pretend to care about the Oscars today at work, your boss CAN fire you.
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#IsABitOfALeap to believe in love but I've seen it happen right before my eyes and it's wonderful.
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#HateToBeRudeBut can you account for your whereabouts last night? The police are asking @keshatedder
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#ThingsYouShouldntAsk Who the fuck is Jeb Bush?
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Could've gone to bed at a decent hour #ButIWasTweetingInstead! Now #coffee is my only hope at pretending to be a responsible adult today.
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#ForTwitters10thBirthday all egg avi's shall be replaced with man buns, which shall be replaced with Cinnabons.
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Y'all don't understand how long I have been riding for @rihanna. I will never forget this. She followed me too. #NavyForFuckingLife !!!!!!!
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'@6LoudAndLost9 Awww, G. What would I do without your boosts to my crappy self-esteem?! #MCM , Mr. G. Your satisfaction rating is ���!'
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I could have become a @Pornhub amateur model and they would call me 'Han Solo" #ButIWasTweetingInstead https://t.co/qL7aJnExkr
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#MyMondayDemotivation a colleague said my new Gucci bag looks like a Trump's suitcase? https://t.co/oLZIBlm7A8
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Bill Murray, the voice of every generation, ladies & gentlemen #MyMondayDemotivation #LikeABoss #StupidSayings https://t.co/vkluXv8Lrx
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#MyMondayDemotivation My boyfriend sent me chocolates... only they were radium-filled. I think I should take a hint. https://t.co/uRoLw74YZu
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#MyMondayDemotivation Judas. Donald trump ISIS Climate change Caitlyn Jenner School #TheWalkingDead
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'@GiselleEvns We're one flaming guitar guy from becoming Fury Road.'
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#MyMondayDemotivation 100% of people who drink water and breathe air - die
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#MyMondayDemotivation - My phone didn't charge, even electricity hates me.
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