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583 tweets using #howtoescapeadate (page 14 of 20)

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@daileyjadon   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate faking a stroke has worked well for me
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@worldofhashtags   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate constantly checking down her shirt to make sure they're still there
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@daileyjadon   ·  13 Feb 2017
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My gender reassignment surgery is tomorrow so I should get home.... #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Take a child with you, and tell him this is a test on his ability to take care of a child. Leave the alone #HowToEscapeADate
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@daileyjadon   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Order off the Gluten-Free Menu #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Find out who she voted for and then start praising the other one.
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@daileyjadon   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate I'm admin on 9gag
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Ask them to look after your leather gloves, rope and switchblade while you nip to the toilet. #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Be up front right away. I tell them I'm looking for a new baby daddy! #HowToEscapeADate https://t.co/QiD0Uoswvo
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate fart loudly and be proud of it
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Re-wash all of the table cutlery with hand sanitizer. #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Look him dead in the eye and ask "Excuse me, do you happen to have a tampon on you I can barrow?
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Put a baggie of collected toenail clippings on the table next to you, and eye them suspiciously until they leave #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate. Ask if you can just hide a hand in her draw while you are gone.
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Let me ask my wife how late I can stay out.
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Start a setence with "When I dated my cousin..." #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixchase   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Press Esc key on the keyboard #HowToEscapeADate https://t.co/xXHXTXYdS4
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Cut his food for him. #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Say you have a bad case of diarrhea #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Keep talking about her weird elbows. #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Show 'em your best moves & expose a lot of foldy skin! https://t.co/3gD69gGDlx
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate have a friend third wheel
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate just be sarcastic
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate "My Mom just texted me with bad news: She has Cancer." "I'm sorry but I've got to go..." #DateIdeas #RelationshipGoals https://t.co/JcRO0NXRXb
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@fameonyoubitch   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Our tag today is #HowToEscapeADate Join us and @GiselleEvns for more fun https://t.co/fE8EGbzAYW
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate tell them you forgot your satanic ritual kit at home and you're just going to fetch it real quick.
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate I'm not a public shitter.
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@fameonyoubitch   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate let them know what's NOT on the menu... https://t.co/B0YlDSaev1
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@fameonyoubitch   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Look him dead in the eye and ask "Excuse me, do you happen to have a tampon on you I can barrow?
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Tell her, "Since it's the first date I must insist we go dutch on the condoms "#HowToEscapeADate
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