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583 tweets using #howtoescapeadate (page 19 of 20)
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#HowToEscapeADate my mom's friends cousin's neighbors dog's brother fell and he can't get up.
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#HowToEscapeADate Tell them you're actually looking for a blood donor
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#HowToEscapeADate start arguing with yourself about if he is the one to have your babies with
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Tell him you are a third-wave feminist and you support 'kill all men' thing #HowToEscapeADate https://t.co/00UftaHjYs
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#HowToEscapeADate Show your date an album of polaroids exclusively of them sleeping.
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#HowToEscapeADate Look him dead in the eye and ask "Excuse me, do you happen to have a tampon on you I can barrow?
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#HowToEscapeADate Make sure it's in New York or LA, then ask Kurt Russell.
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Pass them onto an Archeologist. They will date anything #HowToEscapeADate
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Ask them to look after your leather gloves, rope and switchblade while you nip to the toilet. #HowToEscapeADate
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#HowToEscapeADate Find out who she voted for and then start praising the other one.
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#HowToEscapeADate Tell them you're actually looking for a blood donor
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Take a child with you, and tell him this is a test on his ability to take care of a child. Leave the alone #HowToEscapeADate
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My gender reassignment surgery is tomorrow so I should get home.... #HowToEscapeADate
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#HowToEscapeADate ask if your date wanna see your future kids pictures
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