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583 tweets using #howtoescapeadate (page 16 of 20)
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Put a baggie of collected toenail clippings on the table next to you, and eye them suspiciously until they leave #HowToEscapeADate
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Glut yourself with every expensive food and then try splitting the bill. #HowToEscapeADate
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#HowToEscapeADate. Ask if you can just hide a hand in her draw while you are gone.
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#HowToEscapeADate Take food off the server's tray rather than wait for the server to take your order.
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#HowToEscapeADate Ask them if they're interested in God and invite them to your church.
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#HowToEscapeADate if your date is a Trump supporter say you help illegals cross the border https://t.co/EMAX3ZxEZY
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#HowToEscapeADate my mom's friends cousin's neighbors dog's brother fell and he can't get up.
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#HowToEscapeADate pull a Depends out and tell her you will be right back.
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#HowToEscapeADate Tell them you're actually looking for a blood donor
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Talk incessantly about how much you love your car? #HowToEscapeADate
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#HowToEscapeADate Make sure it's in New York or LA, then ask Kurt Russell.
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Be up front right away. I tell them I'm looking for a new baby daddy! #HowToEscapeADate https://t.co/QiD0Uoswvo
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#HowToEscapeADate Show your date an album of polaroids exclusively of them sleeping.
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#HowToEscapeADate Ask them if they're interested in God and invite them to your church.
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#HowToEscapeADate start arguing with yourself about if he is the one to have your babies with
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