Back to details for #howtoescapeadate
583 tweets using #howtoescapeadate (page 8 of 20)
Retweet
#howtoescapeadate bring a handful of baby ultrasound photos along and ask your date to pick out which gender for each. You're excited.
United States
/ English
Retweet
(Haven't ordered yet) Be, right back. Gotta check in w/mother 2 let her know how swell it's going. She's gonna love you. #HowToEscapeADate
United States
/ English
Retweet
#howtoescapeadate Whenever I get the opertunity, I like to play with my organ.
United States
/ English
Retweet
#HowToEscapeADate It's very easy. They're just small fruits without the means to hold you against your will. Man up.
United States
/ English
Retweet
#HowToEscapeADate Do a ninja roll towards the bathroom then instantly to a 128 degree turn to the west, slip on a banana peel and crawl away
United States
/ English
Retweet
#HowToEscapeADate Fake Narcolepsy and just fall asleep & snore...loudly!
United States
/ English
Retweet
United States
/ English
Start breastfeeding a kitten you brought with yourself #HowToEscapeADate
United States
/ English
Retweet
Forget to wear pants coz it's the perfect excuse for not carrying your wallet #HowToEscapeADate
United States
/ English
Retweet
#HowToEscapeADate Flashbang and toss scalding acid into their face- What do you mean people don't walk around with Fluoroantimonic Acid?
United States
/ English
Retweet
#HowToEscapeADate Duh! So simple. Just use gum, old gift card, lipstick, & lighter in your purse to blow open an escape tunnel in the br. �
United States
/ English
Retweet
United States
/ English
Retweet
#HowToEscapeADate Just have a friend come in and act like a fool accusing of cheating. If it's going good just wave them off
United States
/ English
Retweet
Ask to leave politely, if that Dosent work FUCKING PANIC #HowToEscapeADate
United States
/ English
Retweet
#HowToEscapeADate Tell your date how nice the hospital's psychiatric ward decorated.
United States
/ English
Retweet
Bring your life size cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber. #HowToEscapeADate
United States
/ English
Retweet
United States
/ English
Retweet
#howtoescapeadate start a fire in the mens roon and run from the restaurant screaming
United States
/ English
Retweet
#HowToEscapeADate Spit on the table at the restaurant, then scream "my people deserve better than this"
United States
/ English
United States
/ English
Retweet
#HowToEscapeADate Answer the door with a tube of Vagisil and a towel in your hand.
United States
/ English