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583 tweets using #howtoescapeadate (page 5 of 20)

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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Tell her that her mom was incredible, and you have high expectations for her as well.
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Tell him that his dad did it differently #HowToEscapeADate https://t.co/ORPODZ5bd5
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@danageezus   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Yodelling the menu is a good start #HowToEscapeADate
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@worldofhashtags   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Ask them to look after your leather gloves, rope and switchblade while you nip to the toilet. #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate. Keep scratching your dick uncontrollably. Then tell her it's time for your medicine.
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Make a place for your phone, so your TC can have Skype dinner with you two
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@worldofhashtags   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Show your date an album of polaroids exclusively of them sleeping.
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Order off the Gluten-Free Menu #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate start by asking if they have a second to talk about our Lord Jesus Christ
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Talk about how much you "killed it" at the gym this morning. #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#howtoescapeadate Piss/Soil your pants!
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#howtoescapeadate I'm studying for an Eye Test
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@worldofhashtags   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Be up front right away. I tell them I'm looking for a new baby daddy! #HowToEscapeADate https://t.co/QiD0Uoswvo
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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I wouldn't escape a date. I'd tell it like it is: "Yea, you're not as funny in real life as you are online. Buh bye!" #howtoescapeadate
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate bring all your ex- girlfriends ovulation charts
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Find out who she voted for and then start praising the other one.
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate wear a straightjacket
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@danageezus   ·  13 Feb 2017
Take a child with you, and tell him this is a test on his ability to take care of a child. Leave the alone #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate start arguing with yourself about if he is the one to have your babies with
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
#HowToEscapeADate Tell them you're actually looking for a blood donor
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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Casually mention the bodies you have stored in your basement. #HowToEscapeADate
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@danageezus   ·  13 Feb 2017
I'm pregnant, will you accept my child as your own? #HowToEscapeADate
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate :announce excitedly "Nightly FaceTime w the Family"...great grandmas first because they go 2 bed early...then grandmas..
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@chrixmorgan   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Ask her if she has some heroin.
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@worldofhashtags   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate let them know what's NOT on the menu... https://t.co/B0YlDSaev1
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@worldofhashtags   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate Ask her if she has some heroin.
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@worldofhashtags   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate just say three simple words "I'm a Scientologist"
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@worldofhashtags   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate start arguing with yourself about if he is the one to have your babies with
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@danageezus   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate just say three simple words "I'm a Scientologist"
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@worldofhashtags   ·  13 Feb 2017
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#HowToEscapeADate fart loudly and be proud of it
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