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1,186 tweets using #ificouldntlie (page 36 of 40)
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#IfICouldntLie my kid would have learned very early that babies actually come from vagina and they are not sold in hospitals
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#IfICouldntLie I’d start a religion. Oh, wait…I guess it doesn''t work that way
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#IfICouldntLie I'd have to be honest about my weight and golf score, both require a comma. F-That!!
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#IfICouldntLie your mum wouldn't believe I'm really glad to see her in our house https://t.co/uVzkSjZ1SH
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#IfICouldntLie you would actually know when I got your text and decided not to answer you https://t.co/8SQiZizvvs
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#IfICouldntLie I couldn't have kept it secret anymore: I stole your dog. He is great and you're an asshole https://t.co/I7jtQudqaZ
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Let's say your nose does grow when you lie. #IfICouldntLie would I have no nose? https://t.co/7qv4MRTCyh
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#IfICouldntLie I would never be able to partake in these hashtag games, and then what fun would life be?!
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#IfICouldntLie I could never say "I'm almost there" when barely leaving my place
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#IfICouldntLie your mum wouldn't believe I'm really glad to see her in our house https://t.co/uVzkSjZ1SH
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#IfICouldntLie Jiminy Cricket would be out of a job. And possibly homeless. Who would want that? https://t.co/lZbQTXyhW1
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#IfICouldntLie my life would be less fun. Not that I like often but the ability to keeps things interesting!
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#IfICouldntLie I'd have to be honest about my weight and golf score, both require a comma. F-That!!
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#IfICouldntLie on my back having sex with her on top, then I would do whatever she says cause I'm finally having sex. woo hoo!
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#IfICouldntLie you'd be so mad at me after I told you how ugly your baby is! Seriously. Babies are supposed to be cute! What happened?
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#IfICouldntLie my kids would never eat their veggies: how the hell are green peas good for your health? https://t.co/OnVdNkYnag
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#IfICouldntLie I would say fuck rebuilding, try to win the World Series every year. Worry about 2019 when it gets here.
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