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356 tweets using #WhenImSotallyTober (page 8 of 12)
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#WhenImSotallyTober i never make the same mistake twice..I make it 5-6 times just to be sure.
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#WhenImSotallyTober I offer to check if your carpet matches your drapes and fall asleep on your lap
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#WhenImSotallyTober Stay up all night then pretend I'm an early riser to the tweeps just waking up.
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#WhenImSotallyTober I get overwhelmed by all the stuff that needs done around here. Seriously, I need a maid.....
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#WhenImSotallyTober People wonder why. When I say "I don't drink" they think i'm a recovering alcoholic, before can I explain they're gone.
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When I'm sober, I eat carrots to help my eyesight, but #WhenImSotallyTober I drink whiskey to double my vision, and improve my vodkabulary.
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#WhenImSotallyTober it's usually Friday and Saturday because I have all day Sober to Sunday up.
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#WhenImSotallyTober I always consider a nap but I don't want to waste the high
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#WhenImSotallyTober I blame embarrassing voice mails on drunk dialing.
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#WhenImSotallyTober I do the fandango. Thunderbolts of lighting, very,very frightening Me
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#WhenImSotallyTober I have the most intense passionate sex. Then wake up 8 hours later in my parents basement all alone with sticky sheets
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#WhenImSotallyTober Take a variety of dick pics then photoshop them into exotic locales like the Eiffel Tower or the Pyramids of Giza.
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Me: I friggin luv you brooooo, did I ever tell you that My bro: Yes, you told me already for the tenth time #WhenImSotallyTober
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I wanna to say something profugh ... profugh ... smart #ButIGotColdFeet. I's remembers #WhenImSotallyTober
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#WhenImSotallyTober I demand that someone make a video compilation of all the cute audience members from Whose Line
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I prefer drinking my liquor on a plane #WhenImSotallyTober because it keeps me in high spirits. https://t.co/LX6qZzwLfB
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#whenimsotallytober I rearrange my albums in zzzzzzzzzzz Wakes up* OMG! I left all my records all over the floor
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#WhenImSotallyTober, people think I'm high. Sniffing books has that effect on me. Also, I'm always sober. I'm just weird, and proud of it!! https://t.co/j2esDbDh8n
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