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1,186 tweets using #ificouldntlie (page 34 of 40)
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#IfICouldntLie down in the fetal position wrapped in my blanket cocoon, I'd never get any sleep.
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#IfICouldntLie people would no longer suspect me of being a shallow prick. They'd know for sure.
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#IfICouldntLie then I would just tell you that I liked George Michael in highschool and move on. https://t.co/NW3sFqD8A0
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#IfICouldntLie my kids would never eat their veggies: how the hell are green peas good for your health? https://t.co/OnVdNkYnag
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#IfICouldntLie then no I don't remember you, or your name and I probably will forget again when I walk off ���
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#IfICouldntLie ... or is it lay? Whatever fits for me to be with Julia Robert's character in Pretty Woman when she suggests they "veg out".
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#IfICouldntLie my kid would have learned very early that babies actually come from vagina and they are not sold in hospitals
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#IfICouldntLie I'd cry like a baby every time accidentally hurting myself instead of saying "I got it. I'm fine" https://t.co/rOnlpCIELH
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Let's say your nose does grow when you lie. #IfICouldntLie would I have no nose? https://t.co/7qv4MRTCyh
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#IfICouldntLie I would have to actually read all the terms and conditions before actually updating iTunes https://t.co/jCou6ppKOi
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#IfICouldntLie I could never say "I'm almost there" when barely leaving my place
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#IfICouldntLie you'd know that I'm allergic to your shitty cooking, not peanuts
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#IfICouldntLie I would have to agree to hang out with friends when all I want is to stay on my couch forever https://t.co/yEYtLi875u
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#IfICouldntLie you would actually know when I got your text and decided not to answer you https://t.co/8SQiZizvvs
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#IfICouldntLie my life would be like playing hopscotch through a mine field
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#IfICouldntLie I would never be able to partake in these hashtag games, and then what fun would life be?!
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