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1,186 tweets using #ificouldntlie (page 6 of 40)
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#IfICouldntLie you'd know that I'm allergic to your shitty cooking, not peanuts
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#IfICouldntLie I would't work for The Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Russian Federation https://t.co/PL34sFQIAJ
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#IfICouldntLie My boss would fire me
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#IfICouldntLie you'd know that I'm allergic to your shitty cooking, not peanuts
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#IfICouldntLie you wouldn't ask me your dump questions after the first "yeah, you're kinda fat"
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#IfICouldntLie I'd state favorable predictions as fact knowing they'll all come true. That's how it works, right?
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#IfICouldntLie it would become an issue. To everyone else
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#IfICouldntLie I couldn't have kept it secret anymore: I stole your dog. He is great and you're an asshole https://t.co/I7jtQudqaZ
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#IfICouldntLie I would suddenly be struck down in my prime, with a bout of severe tonsillitis...without a clear prognosis in the near future
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#IfICouldntLie everyone would know I have two bodies buried in my backyard… Oh, shit!
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#IfICouldntLie you'd know that I'm allergic to your shitty cooking, not peanuts
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#IfICouldntLie I'd have to tell people what I really think of them to their face. Hey, I already do that.
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