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1,091 tweets using #reallifemagicspells (page 30 of 37)
#RealLifeMagicSpells "I'm telling mom!" if you have sibling you know it's their favorite. Makes your money disappear
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#RealLifeMagicSpells "She said she was 18" turns you into a registered sex offender
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#RealLifeMagicSpells Drawers Mixus: Poof-you're wearing someone else's underwear. Did I mention of the opposite sex?
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Tah-Dah, I can look you dead in the face while you're talking and not hear a thing you said #RealLifeMagicSpells
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#RealLifeMagicSpells Just one more bite. Makes you advocating for body possibility
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#RealLifeMagicSpells "Insufficient funds" - a curse that can hit you next morning after "Just a few more shots, It's gonna be fine"
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#RealLifeMagicSpells Just one more bite. Makes you advocating for body positivity
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#RealLifeMagicSpells Will you marry me - makes your life unbearable in 3 years
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Dragonus Breathii Mouthwashica - for when that other person's breath is singeing your nose hairs. #RealLifeMagicSpells
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#RealLifeMagicSpells earbuds! Instant mute and end to conversations.
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"Free guacamole" is a rarely heard spell that alleviates much stress #RealLifeMagicSpells
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#RealLifeMagicSpells "Hold my beer" - usually used by individuals who are about to get severely injured but still worried about their beer
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#RealLifeMagicSpells anything that follows "my paid porn password is"
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Ask the troll lady playing bingo. She always wins and it's not fair. #RealLifeMagicSpells
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#RealLifeMagicSpells 8 shots + 6 burbon and cokes + 5 wines = spell of forget
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#RealLifeMagicSpells "I told you so" - often causes a "fuck off" counter-spell response.
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#RealLifeMagicSpells using hashtags starting with boycott - makes you look dumb in 3...2...1
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#RealLifeMagicSpells You will slice me a pound of turkey breast... Spell placed on deli clerk..
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