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1,381 tweets using #survivalguidetothanksgiving (page 7 of 47)
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Don't let your siblings win the wishbone contest. You know their darkest dreams…
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I don't need a #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving nice thing about having a non-conformist family.
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Your excuse= I got to leave early to pay my bookie the Loins lost again...
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving have your gun ready for anyone who says "Make America Great Again" or "I'm With Her".
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1. Don't fill up before dinner 2. Pretend to care when others show up 3. Use NFL as an excuse to not help out #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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Claim you can't participate due to a bad case of explosive diarrhea. #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving 1)show up 2)roll a fat joint 3)smoke said fat joint 4)eat 5)kiss everyone goodbye
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Call in "sick...of certain family members" #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving kiss your granny before she could kiss you
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Tequila & Margaritaville Tahiti triple blender it's gonna be 5 o'clock all day long! #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving https://t.co/wnZlGZrI4A
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving ummmm Wine.... Wine and more wine??? �����
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving make sure you eat the food first before you say you have to go home and sleep now
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Remember you love your family and remember you love your family #SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving
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#SurvivalGuideToThanksgiving Shoot anyone who would try to sing a Thanksgiving song. It's either them or you!
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